I may well be crazyFriday, November 01, 2013
When I was a teenager, I kept a diary. I haven't looked at it in years, firstly because I'm not 100% sure where it is (a situation with extreme awkwardness potential, given that my brother now sleeps in my former teenage bedroom) and secondly because I know the first page contains some godawful emotive ramblings inspired by a visit to Culloden and I don't think I could cope with the crippling embarrassment of reading it.
If I could overcome these hurdles, though, I don't know that re-reading my diary would paint a particularly accurate picture of those years. My diary-keeping habits followed a set pattern. When I was wallowing in some overblown friend-related drama, or filled with unrequited yearning for the wise-cracking boy in my physics class, I would churn out pages and pages of painfully unselfconscious warblings. When, on the other hand, I was calm and happy - which was most of the time, because my friends were mostly lovely and physics boy quickly succumbed to my charms - I had no interest in writing. I was too busy doing.
Lately, with blogging, the pattern seems to have reversed. 2013 has been a profoundly crap year for me with one thing and another, and the month of October wins a gold star for being the Crappest of Them All. But instead of spilling my guts, I clam up. This is a public space, and I prefer to keep my dirty washing in the huge untended pile in the middle of my bedroom, where it belongs. And since all my washing is dirty at the moment (this is no longer just a metaphor; I really need to do some washing), I blogged precisely nothing in the entire month of October. Not one word. I think that might be a personal record (of lameness).
I am the queen of procrastination. I can put off anything, anytime. This blog is just one of many aspects of my life that have been put on the back burner while I deal with some Hard Stuff. But the time has finally come, my friends, for this to stop. Or rather, for me to start. Start writing, start thinking, start pulling myself out of the slump in which I've been wallowing.
To that end, I am going to attempt to drag this blog back to life with my bare and bloody hands, by going from one extreme to another.
This November, I am going to attempt to publish a blog post every day.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
This harebrained scheme was inspired by a few bloggers I know who are participating in the Blog Every Day In November challenge. There's a prompt for each day, which I'm going to use as a vague guide, but I can tell you right now I have fuck all to say on the subject of "National Stress Awareness Day" (6th November), among others, so I will probably go off-piste a few times.
In all honesty, I'm not expecting to manage every single day. Fate may well intervene - work is extra busy just now, my mum hasn't been doing that well of late, and the end of November might as well be the end of the century if my ability to predict what might happen is anything to go by. All I can do is try. So here we go.
Wish me luck.
(Those of you who subscribe by email, I apologise for what I am about to do to your inbox. If it's any consolation, you're my favourites.)
Images:1. Globo by Daniela Dahf Henriquez 2. Friedrich Kunath, Untitled, 2009